Day 2
16:59 pm Once again chants of “Fuck the government shook the house”. The long-anticipated protest had begun and a whole minute early. Becky from the block like a stormtrooper burst through the lounge door and attempted to take her position on top of the podium she had constructed out of cardboard boxes half an hour earlier. Now even the slimmest individual probably can’t make a flimsy box hold their weight and Becky is anything but slim, In fact, rotund might be a tactful way to describe her. The girl quiet literally never stops eating, even whilst attempting to acquire her position she has a cheese string hanging out of her mouth and the remains of her survival pot noddle’s she has spent the day munching through on the front of her top. She’s clearly noticed me staring because she picks off a dry piece of noddle and makes a joke about saving it there for later. One step, two steps… Becky attempts to distribute her weight on top of the podium.. the boxes crunch beneath her and Becky drops to the floor. All professionalism went out the window (to be honest if you haven’t noticed by now professionalism often goes out the window) I am in absolute hysterics, Tears pouring from my eyes. Becky isn’t finding this funny she’s on the floor clutching her ankle shouting “THIS IS WHY I HATE BORIS”.
17:45pm Becky has now regained her thoughts, The protest is fully underway, Simon, Smelly boy who we need to find a name for and Tae who you haven’t been introduced to yet are braised on the sofa with placards in air waiting eagerly for Becky’s speech. This time around Becky has opted to set herself up at the dining room table. Seated. Thank god. She clears her throat and begins… Thank you, everyone, for coming out today to join me your fearless and faithful leader. It is an honor to be leading you in this fight for freedom. I would like to start by raising my first and the most pressing issue on my agenda; Fifteen tissues only last one shit, having tissue is my basic human right and I refuse to be exploited anymore. She bashed her fist on the table to emphasise her point and looked fiercely across the table at her followers who have clearly forgotten the planned cues they practiced in the earlier rehearsal. Becky The fearless and faithful leader screeches at them “YOU’RE MEANT TO SHOUT YESSS, EVERY TIME I MAKE A POINT!!” scared within an inch of their lives Becky’s followers shout ‘YESSSSS!’. Their leader nods her head pleased with her follower’s commitment to the cause. She continues... My mum voted Labour so Boris can’t tell me nothing bro. I will go wherever I want whenever I want Martin Luther King never had a dream for nothing.
’YESSSS!’ Becky’s followers cheered from the sofa, thank god they'd remembered their cue. Becky attempted to give them a subtle wink which in fact scrunched the whole right side of her face. Like trained soldiers, Simon, Smelly and Tae stood up placards in the air and began marching around the living room. Unfortunately for the fearless leader the boys got fed up within ten minutes and scattered to their rooms followed by the sound of Beck
y’s screams of “YOU FUCKING SNAKESSSSSSSSSSS!!”
18:00
Again I am locked in the office attempting to keep my sanity... Only 38 hours left to go!
I HATE QUARANTINE
